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A Personal Letter from Our Founder
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Marilyn K. Crockett A New Goal in life after 60... After the heart attack, as I lay on the floor of the office that I had worked in for 5 years, I awoke with the protective patches on my chest and back readied for the charge to bring me back to life. The ambulance driver told me to take a deep breath on the oxygen as they were transporting me to the ER as quickly as possible. Never been sick before in my life! How could this be happening to me! There was work to do and I had been working since I received a work permit at the age of 14 years. A visit to the doctor’s office and left with a clean bill of health just last week. My insurance group just loved me because I never needed to file a claim. A runner, an exercise enthusiast and weight watcher! After numerous tests and an overnight stay in the hospital it was determined that I had a 99% blockage and would need emergency surgery for a stent. On the hair rising ride in the ambulance to the Heart Hospital from my local small town hospital I was reassessing the priorities in my life. What had I accomplished? Educated, married, children, career minded – not much in comparison to the SUPER WOMEN of this age. I had accepted life as it came to me and never asked WHY... Now, I am asking WHY... My husband was a sports enthusiast like most men, loved to hunt, scuba dive, air boat, etc. and if it were not for falling in his airboat on one Saturday jaunt he would not have found out that he had Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. A lump under his arm became sore and he went to his hunting buddy doctor to find out why the lump did not go away. He was immediately put in surgery and then the series of chemo – our baby was just 6 months old at the time and could not understand why she was not allowed to be close to her favorite person in the world. This then progressed to a melanoma on the lip that progressed to stomach cancer and finally took his life. We felt blessed as he was with us long enough to transport his daughters to their first years of college but never survived to see them graduate from college. A widow for 17 years before I felt strong enough to do something worthy of my existence on this earth. I believe that anyone can benefit from reflecting on what is more meaningful in their life and wrestle with the question of why am I here. What do you want your legacy to be and it is never too late to explore your worth in the community of life. With living in a community of widows numbered in the neighborhood of 1200 and rising daily, I found my calling in the WIDOW TO WIDOW group. These Widows were suffering – married all their lives (some as much as 60 plus years) had never been alone. These Widows went from their fathers’ home to their husbands’ home and had never ever been alone! They needed assistance in learning how to live as a single woman in this new world that had been thrusted upon them in a very short space of time. The feeling that a woman has at the loss of her beloved husband is compared to super gluing your hands together and being forcibly pulled apart. The heart is raw – the pain intense – the ache that never goes away. And no one wants to talk about it! They fear that the widow will cry again and they don’t want to upset her anymore. In the WIDOW TO WIDOW group, we understand! We talk about her husband as though he were in the room with us. We celebrate the anniversaries, i.e.; Wedding, birthdays and the day of her loss. We keep him alive in her heart – she can tell us about him and not feel guilty. We share with her the belief that we will all be together again when our journey on this earth is over. She can cry and share her anger at her loss. She can grow stronger each day knowing that we are at the other end of the phone line whenever she needs support. We can go to her favorite restaurants, theatres, symphonies, etc. just to help her through the bad times. And we share pictures of happier days gone by that bring happiness and sometimes a laugh. She can depend on us being there to celebrate her birthday and make her feel as special as she is to all the widow ladies. Because we have all walked the same path we are a sisterhood of widows. After 18 months of sharing together our days of joy and sadness, the health issues began to take its toll and we found that a bus or van was needed to transport the widows with hip replacements or knee surgeries. The widows were having problems with getting into and out of the cars that were used to visit museums, theatres, luncheons, etc. As I shared my concerns with my family an idea was born to raise money to purchase transportation as well as assist in the disposal of a million dollar furnished home with car that could not be sold in today’s market. A RAFFLE! What a wonderful idea! We could raise money for the Widow to Widow group to purchase a van, funds needed for those that are struggling financially to pay their bills or repairs, and pay off debt on a home and car that could not be sold. And it was born: WOTAW.com Wisdom of the Ages Worldwide -- a charity that would assist not only widows struggling in this economy but widowers as well. With the career savvy of my daughter and her husband the wheels began to roll. A web site was born – media blitz hit the air waves – and a raffle was established with all the proper government regulations in place. So the WHY has been answered! I have a calling – this would never have happened if the heart attack had never happened. Being flat on my back with the possibility of death in my face the WHY was to be a mentor to the widows that have experienced the loss of the most precious person in their lives. And with my family’s support this will reach many more widows and widowers in the near future. The suggestion that I have for anyone that is reading this is to find your WHY before you find your end.  |